It’s All In The Eyes
The eyes are the windows to the soul. How many times have you heard that?
Well, unlike most common sayings, this one’s actually true. The eyes don’t lie.
Once you master the 3 confident eye contact tricks in the article, you’re guaranteed to have that dominant wow factor usually reserved for the top CEOs and celebrities.
1. Make Them Earn Your Eye Contact
The easier something is to obtain, the less we value it
Why do you think people pay a ridiculous amount of money for brands like Gucci and Supreme. Not everyone can afford them, and that makes them seem valuable.
The same applies to your eye contact.
Don’t give people your full attention unless they actually deserve it. It’s easy to misinterpret this so I’ll explain what I mean.
1. When you first meet someone, give them around 80% eye contact at first, this is important or you might come across as rude. After a few minutes reduce your eye contact to about 50%. By taking away your engaged eye contact, your attention has just become more valuable to them.
2. It’s natural for them to start working harder to try and regain your attention. It’s important that you then increase your eye contact back to 70%. This will give them the sense that they’ve earnt your attention through their shining personality, rather than you just handing out your attention to anyone that wants it. Once you feel your attention has been earned, let them keep it. This process should be used when first meeting someone, not for those you’ve known for a while.
Give them the sense that your attention is hard to obtain. It will make your eye contact more valuable, and as an added bonus they’ll feel special when they earn it. Status is not just about being at the top, it’s about making others around you feel good as well.
2. Be The Last To Break
When a conversation begins, the higher status individual will maintain eye contact for longer. The subordinate will look away first, in essence submitting to the higher status individual.
To take advantage of this, make sure you’re always the last to break eye contact. The best way to do this is to hold it for just a few more seconds after they look away.
It’s important not to hold it for any more than a few seconds after they break, or you’ll appear confrontational. Unless of course, your goal is to intimidate them, in which case hold it for as long as you like I guess.
This will feel uncomfortable at first if you’re not used to it. Just keep practising and eventually it will feel natural. hold on for those few magical extra seconds and reap the rewards of confident eye contact.
3. Never Look Down
Looking down is the most submissive eye contact behaviour you can do. If you look down after making eye contact with someone, you’re sending a clear signal that you think they’re higher status. It’s an open invitation for them to walk all over you.
From this moment on, I want you to commit to never looking down again. The ground is dead to you.
By all means look to the side, maybe even look up sometimes, but from now on looking down is a criminal offence punishable by looking like a pussy.
You can also use this as a way to see how other people are perceiving your relative status, as well as a clear sign of attraction. Women will often look down when making eye contact with people they find attractive, just a little something to bear in mind.
Bonus: Power Gazing
I know I know, the title says 3 tips. But we like to overdeliver.
This last confident eye contact trick is powerful and should not be used lightly…or on anyone you want to get along with.
This technique is used as a power play. It’s very unsettling for the recipient so using this on your mates is not advised. The idea here is to reduce your blinking rate and switch your gaze every 5 seconds between their eyes and middle forehead (also known as the third eye). From their end there is no relief from eye contact pressure, letting them know you mean business.
If you found this useful please do let me know, there’s a lot more to confident eye contact so really we’re just scratching the surface here. Now get out there practice, just reading about this isn’t enough, you have to put in the work until it becomes natural. But it’s worth it.. trust me.
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Thanks for stopping by, plenty more on the way for you!
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Confident Eye Contact